If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
