Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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