I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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