Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
