btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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