How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
We smell like vodka and hangover
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
