Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Randomize
