you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
