I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
