My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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