guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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