Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry ryanjensen hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(214): View more from Texas

I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.

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(850): View more from Florida

One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey

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(801): View more from Utah

I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"

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(917): View more from New York City

its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch

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(757): View more from Virginia

he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.

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(206): View more from Washington

He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.

(415): View more from California

Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.

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(678): View more from Georgia

No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.

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