Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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