You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
You work out of a Hotel?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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