3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
