i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Its about making memories worth repressing
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
