He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
