The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
