didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
