It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I love you. Go after that dick
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