John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
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