And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize