y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize