But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
