so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
