hotel room ftw
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
