he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
His nipple licking is glorious
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