Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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