Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
