I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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