She's JV to your varsity
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
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