Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
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