I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize