Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
