I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
