I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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