Porn is love you can see.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
