So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
