Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
