So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
