He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
