You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You can't just leave with hair like that
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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