He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
