I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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