there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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