cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Randomize
