she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
