He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
