So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
