I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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