Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
