Nicole vs. Life
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Never joke about your clitoris.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
