Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize