there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
