I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize