Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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