So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Too much gin, very little bucket
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Randomize
