so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
