I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
