So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
